Saturday, December 30, 2006

.happy new year.



.laughing out loud.

GOD asked a civil engineer, "What mistake did I commit in designing a woman?"

The engineer replied, "Sir, the entertainment area is very close to the sewage system."

Thank -yh- for the joke.

p/s: i'm tired. blog later. got more important things in life.

Friday, December 29, 2006

.chain mail my ass.

i can't believe i got this from my friendster's msg list....

"THIS IS A TOAST.... 2 US... FOR THE MEN WHO HAVE US, THE LOSERS WHO HAD US, AND THE LUCKY BASTARDS WHO WILL MEET US!! SEND THIS ONLY TO PRETTY LADIES INCLUDING THE ONE WHO SENT IT TO YOU You have been hit. You have been considered One of the 20 prettiest girls on my friends list. Once you have been hit, you have to hit 20 pretty girls. If you get hit again you know your really pretty. If you break the chain you'll have UglyNess for 10 years. So hit 20 pretty girls on your friends list and let them know they are pretty! :)"

to the person/gal who sends this forwarded msg to me... please use your pea sized brain and think for a while whether the person you're sending this msg to has a penis.

although you don't have one... doesn't mean it decapitates your ability to think.

yeah, and sending this hit to 200 girls or boys (if you don't have enough friends) will not turn you into a fucking princess with like ... the face of angelina jolie or someone liddat.

in fact, it'll just turn your mundane face into something more interesting... the face of an idiot.

and look ma, i can make a chain letter too.

"if you do not send or forward this fucking letter to 2000 person by the next 1 minute, you'll have the face of a monkey, the hands of a gorilla and the legs of a pig. This is the truth, your brain is the equivalent of a facsimile machine and you do not want to take any risk to make it into the equivalence of a mundane corded telephone. If you do forward this letter to 2000 person in 1 minute, you will have 1000 orgasm in the next 1 week."

there, forward this shit!

Thursday, December 28, 2006

.quote of the day.

"Life is not the amount of breaths you take, it's the moments that take your breath away."

the moments that take your breath away is called orgasm.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

.a review of Eragon.

from left to right : dumb gaylord, dumb king, broom, eragon the 16 year old fart, arya the unlucky 1000 year old gf of a 16 year old's fantasy, some half ass son of some half ass badass, evil but lonely king.

let me see now, in view that i watched this movie with a cap distorting my view of the movie (only the upper part), i'd give it my best shot not to be biased.

this movie revolves around a young farm boy... kinda like Clark Kent. but his name is ... OMG, ERAGON.

he has the brains of a facsimile machine. Cause he can't recognize a baby dragon when he sees one.
in the meantime, he found a mentor in the form of Obi-Wan Kenobi... kidding. but ohhh so similar to Star Wars. The mentor's name is Brom. One "o" short of Broom.

Similar to Harry Potter, the boy was cast a mark... but on his hands. the mark of a dragon rider.

bla bla bla.... the dragon must protect his rider... or if the rider dies, the dragon will too.

wtf kinda logic is this? i guess it's needed, if not, it'll be hell for humans. dragons will kill all humans and control the world.

whatever, they even have a dragon slayer sword. whatever the fuck for? as if your puny little sword can even have any chance to touch the skin of a dragon?
if i was a dragon, i'll blow you 5 meters away with my fire breath before you can even throw a freaking sword at me.

One thing also similar to Star wars is the fanatic boy decides to save Arya. an elven princess. see, those lucky bastards with the brain of a facsimile machine gets the beautiful fairy like princess. while the evil plotting cunning mastermind and ruler of the world gets stuck with a dumb gaylord who never gets his tasks done CORRECTLY.

i mean the dumb gaylord has like millions of fierce and violent minions under his control and he can't kill a ... i forgot... 16 year old boy?

it's not like he's protected by an army of 300 thousand men?
he's protected by a man named BROM! for god's sake, how hard can it be to kill a person named BROM and a 16 year old boy?

i suck like a porno star and i shoot like legolas's half ass brother

oh, forgot the fact that Eragon has a bitch dragon... which kinda like even the odds for the dumb gaylord? doubt it. the bitch dragon is like .... 3 days old..

i'd make a great investment for meat production. i grow this big in 3 days... without any beta-antagonist shit those lesbians use.

the producers decided to cut the story short and grow the dragon to enormous proportions through the use of magnificient cgi and prayers. praying that viewers will have the same brain that eragon has.

lightning strikes, dragon grows.... WOW!

fucking dumb movie.

but.... the mate who I watched this movie with makes it all worthwhile.

overall, i'd give the show a meagre 3/10 and the experience of watching the show 9/10.


p/s: i read today's paper and i think angelina jolie's an angel. an angel with luscious lips. i really do.

.filler post.

i seem to have a writer's block. and the god damn connection is sooooo freaking slow it's burning my brains.

maybe blog later.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

.quote of the day.

sometimes truth is not what you see but what you feel.

but most of the time, it's what you see.

.spreading the love.

i'm always at the office. people kept asking me...

"why aren't you at home?"
"you went to the fucking cinema when you had chicken pox?"
"you're killing innocent people!"

i answer.

"i was the chosen one."

they ask again... oblivious to the fact that i'm crazy...

"the chosen one to get chicken pox?"

i answer.

"yes, and to spread some chickie love"

Monday, December 25, 2006

.christmas gone and new year resolution.

christmas just passed under my nose. but i got an invitation to a party. just didn't feel like going.

i guess spending time with mom cause no one's there with her is more important for me.

this year, i had chicken pox. and because of that i had to stay at home and watch dvd with mom. i didn't regret a single minute of it. i mean, it's been a long time since i last hang out with mom. god knows, bro never spends more than half an hour in the living room. i think the average hour per day he spends in the living room or outside his room is about 5 minutes.

and sis, sis was always the one spending time with mom, but i think her job has gotten her too. she's working from 9 to 6 and i think she'll only be back by around 7. and during christmas, mom's plan to go to singapore was spoiled by the god damn floods all over south malaysia.

so, i get to spend some time with mom watching dvd. some of those tvb series. christmas wasn't happening this year, but i guess i can always make up for it next year or on new year.

what's more important is making sure my beloved mom was not lonely on this faithful day.

with christmas gone so soon, i guess the next big event is new year. and i guess i need to make some new year's resolution.

you know, those you make but you never kept or realize about until the next year.... yeah.... kinda something like this.

here's my resolution for next year :

1. exercise more.
2. take good care of my "baby"
3. work hard and work smart
4. spend more quality time with family members esp. mom
5. go on a holiday ... anywhere... with friends
6. go on a holiday with family.
7. eat my medication more regularly
8. learn to appreciate the ones beside me.
9. learn to love her more
10. be happy.

there. such an easy list. but although it may look simple, it's actually doing the simple things that are so hard.

Saturday, December 23, 2006

.love is.

love is sharing the same drink, even if it's not from the same cup.

love is lending her your jacket, even if your cold to the bones.

love is sharing the same jacket she is snuggling in, even if you're just putting one hand.

love is looking at her snuggling in the jacket, and feeling happy that at least one is warm.

love is looking at her, and realizing she couldn't be any more beautiful.

love is fetching her back, and knowing that tomorrow she'll be in the arms of another man.... but you still wish she'd be happy... no matter who she's with.

love is receiving her msg and knowing she'll miss you.

love is selfless.

love is blind.

love is us.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

.christmas giving.

i've yet to tell anyone about this incident because it never warranted any telling.
besides, i'm always forgetful. i've always wanted to blog about it but... i have amnesia. kinda...

anyway, in the spirit of christmas... let me tell you guys a story.

i went to KL back in August. I've probably roughly mentioned it here. anyway, what i didn't tell you guys were the myriad of things that mysteriously happened to me on that faithful day.

i sat in one corner. one eye looking at my big box of luggage. another catching a glimpse of the people surrounding me. i feel wary. the feeling is like being in a secluded place surrounded by people you don't know in a place you're not familiar with.

suddenly in the corner of one eye, i catch a glimpse of a man, a middle aged man approaching me.

he asked me with impeccable english. i couldn't catch or quite remember what he said... but basically he said he left his wallet and hp while he was on the way to the airport from his hometown.

something along the lines of going to the bus to go to KL. but his wallet and hp dropped in the car, his daughter's. maybe he kept his ticket in his jacket or shirt or something.

anyway, he was asking for 10 bucks so that he can get aboard a B&B (bed n breakfast) up downtown. He asked me politely and talked to me. he said someone bought him the ticket for the LRT ride and that's it.

i talked to him, looked at him.. he must be around 50s. he was well dressed, not like a beggar.. but nothing like a corporate figure too. he mentioned he was in the army. that must've caused his extremely well kept health and stamina. he used some coins to call his daughter but his daughter can't come until the next day afternoon. she's a doctor and got a surgery later that night.

she asked him to drop by KL hospital to find her friend but her friend has moved from the hospital to another. and now he can't find her.

whatever... the main thing is.... he's stranded here with no money, no wallet, no way to contact his daughter (surgery remember?) and no friends... he made a police report and i saw the documents.

so i gave him RM10 and asked him to go to the nearby B&B. we boarded the LRT together. He didn't ask for more. He just said thank you and continued talking about me, asking me where i was from... and telling about his experience being in Penang. He was stationed in Penang a long time ago.

i fell for this guy. i look at his demeanor and i took a liking to him. i don't want him to starve tomorrow afternoon cause i don't think he has enough money for lunch. his daughter's plane will only arrive late afternoon.

i gave him another RM10 and he said he'll pay me back.

i said, "no need. keep everything" and i got down from the LRT.

i went back to my place and told both my friends.

One said, "you should've given me the RM20! there could be a lot of other uses for it... like putting petrol for my car!"
Another said, "wah, want to become penipu also need good english har now?"

i guess they weren't there to look at him and wonder whether RM20 can make him smile or make me smile.

i didn't do it for that uncle only, i did it for me too.
this is the spirit of giving.

btw, i did receive a phone call from a KL no. the next morning. i don't know whether it was him or not... but i hope it was. (i did give him my phone number and ask him to call me if he needed anything or is in trouble).

And I would like to think that he called to say he's OK.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

.quote of the day.

have you ever hoped so much for so little that when you got what you hoped for, you'd just regret hoping for it in the first place.


u guys know what the macauhaicheebyepukimaklanjiao fever gave me?

it gave me chicken in a box.

yeah, chickenpox.

fuck it.

Friday, December 15, 2006

.machauhaicheebyepukimaklanjiao fever.

i was soo machauhai cheebye pukimak lanjiao sick yesterday that i have to go back and sleep. and sleep i did for the whole day.

it was a total waste of one whole day and there were like... tons of fucking problems in the office.

and i think this fever caused mom to nag a bit about my nightlife outings.
now i think i'm grounded for one week.

who the fuck gets grounded at 23? huh? who the fuck?

damn lanjiaocheebyepukimakmachauhai fever got me grounded.

one good thing that came out of the fever is vitamin c. those soluble ones. damn kau lat. nice!

i'm still experiencing some slight heat.

oh yeah, another good thing is SLEEP. tons and tons of it. how i miss my naps.

but i don't know why... i'm still having some slight dizziness.

machauhaicheebyepukimaklanjiao fever.

Thursday, December 14, 2006


i'm so fucking sick it's insane and totally not funny.

let me get this work done with and then i can go back and sleep.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

.quote of the day.

Life is all about being happy and confident.

So is drugs.

.women is the weaker sex?

the issue of female as the weaker sex has never ceased to be the talk of politicians.

and if i were to hear them from one of our dumb politicians again... i swear to god, i'll rip the newspaper apart. (cause i can't really do anything besides that).

you see, female is the weaker sex... period.

but that proverb was created a long time ago when weak and strong was only evaluated through fights or hunting competitions. (muscle evaluation)

a long long time ago, men competed to vie for their partner with hunting competitions, wrestling matches, snorting sounds.. you know, matches that are aggressive in nature.

this is vital in order to ensure that the alpha male has enough or adequate muscle strength to protect his or her counterpart from the vile predators.

you know, i would think that politicians are smart enough to know that as time changes, so does circumstances.

sexy dressing as a code of conduct to prevent themselves from getting raped? who the fuck is talking?

even the most well-dressed transvestite can get raped in certain circumstances...

women are now not the weaker sex... in fact i tend to think that they are the dominating sex. ever seen how a woman can wield her aura and a man will do anything just to get her attention?

if that's not called power, i don't know what is.

men now vie for their female attention through other means like cooking, laundry, manners, attitude and persuasion. oh, not to forget.. cash.

women? they just listen and decide.

gone are the days where women are the weaker sex... some of them are more of a man than you could ever imagine to be.

if we tried to vie for a female attention like cooking, laundry ..bla bla bla... in those olden days.... you'd be dead and heirless.

and vile predators? they're actually the ones trying to get a lay over in the clubbing arena.

sometimes, i think civilization is moving forward in terms of technology and knowledge but we are becoming more of an animal than we wanted to be.

if a woman can wear leaves and show their boobs in those days without worrying about rape or sodomy..... why is it a more civilized nation like the one we have now can't cage the animal in us.

until bedtime of course. then lets unleash the animal in us.

.MTV rocks my sawks!

yesterday, i was having a cuppa coffee with Mais, MC and JollyYeap. it seems that our first schoolmate from high school is getting married this saturday. she's a doll and i wish her all the best in future undertakings. and happiness in her marriage.

me and JollyYeap had a cuppa coffee and headed down to 7-11 to have a can of beer. After that we head on over to his house and "lepak".

Astro's MTV was showing RoomRaiders. This show takes three male or female out of their room and asks a potential date partner to raid their room. Whose room belongs to who will not be revealed until the end of the selection. So, the boys or girls will have to choose based on the participant's rooms. Like, room number 1 is out. So, one of the chicks will walk out. and if it so happens that she's some hot chick... tough luck dude. you wouldn't like her anyway. *-^

so, as i was watching this show, i was contemplating what criminal evidence i had in my room that could be bound to be raided.

first of all, i have porn. hmm.... QC-ed porn. HAHA.

second, in my drawer under my side table, you'd find scores and scores of unarranged paraphernalia.

which reminds me, i should get them arranged someday soon.

and then sometimes i have leftover shirts or pants from morning or yesterday night cause i just like wore it for... a couple of hours. so it doesn't go into the washing machine that fast. (no underwear though... swear)

dust... sometimes i have lots of it in corners. i need to get them wiped.

i don't really have much in my room but i guess i have enough. what about you? any embarrassing paraphernalia you want to tell us?

after room raiders, the show on telly was "Wanna Come In?" Basically, this show takes two males who hasn't had a date for a long time and they will be coached by a "player" each.

These "player"s will take them under their wings in order for them to earn some money if the girl invites the participant into her house after their first dinner. thus the slogan or title "wanna come in?"

it was no easy shit during the dinner as the contestants will be given tasks to complete and whoever completes them in the given stipulated time will earn cash.

Yesterday's first one was..

1. Switch chairs with her and then switch back. Time limit : 2 minutes.
(one of them pulled this off)

2. Hold her hands for 15 seconds. Time limit : 2 minutes.
(both of them pulled this off)

3. Ask her weight, pant's size and bra size. Time limit : 2 minutes i think....
(none of them could pull this off)

In the end, one of them managed to get in to the house. the other was left hanging.
The one who was kept hanging kept drinking water. Having sips and sips of it. He even opened the door for the girl and ASKED THE GIRL to move over..

as in two person going into the car through the same door.... so, the woman has to skip to the other side.

believe me, it was no easy feat.... but the show was entertaining during dinner. especially when one girl said she was offended when asked about her bra size.

i should totally get ASTRO now.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

.quote of the day.

I've decided to keep my quote of the day available for future searches or future reference cause i find them damn good when i need it. haha.

anyway, here's the latest one i've taken out from the side. so, from now on.. all quotes will be posted as blog posts and not side layouts.

p/s : all these quotes are from me, myself and ME!

Previous : "Decision is one part luck and half part wit."

Monday, December 11, 2006


My dog went grooming yesterday.

OMG, she's so cute with her ribbons!

Even mumsy couldn't control her emotions and decided to hug Beebi.

'She who has avoided Beebi like the plague so far has finally embraced it.'

.the blues.

i was busy tick-tacking my thumbs on my handphone trying to stick to the conversation. i'm damn tired but i don't want to lose this opportunity.

we rarely chat or text each other anymore.

suddenly, the thing on my hand emitted sounds..

"bebot, bebot, bebot yeah...."

oh, it's MiniVin calling.

I picked it up and he says, "let's go out."

"ok" i said. "but let me get some stuff done first"

i head up to take a shower and before i could even finish it, the phone rang again.

"hello?" i asked.

"we're here" jollyyeap said.

"ok. be down in a second."

my phone got a new text msg. i ignored it and slip it in my pocket.

we head out after i put on my clothes.

we decided to head to the nearest mamak and watch chelsea vs arsenal.

as i was sitting in the car, i took out my phone and started to tick tack on it again.

i guess i really missed talking to her.

we sat down in front of the tv in the mamak.

my phone rang again. i pick it up.

"eating?" asked honeybee.

"yeah" i said simultaneously looking around to find traces of her.

i don't know why but MiniVin followed my action. he doesn't even know who called. but i guess the curiousity got the better of him. haha.

"i'm heading back now but i saw you just now with MiniVin and JollyYeap right?"

"oh, you were here too?"

"yeah." she said.

"ok... " i quipped right before i closed the phone.

we watched the movie and decided to head to JollyYeap's house to watch it during half time.

I wanted to join them but my instinct tells me i'd just lie down in his house and close my eyes.

so i just went back and took a nap.

but i was still late for work today. damn it.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

.christmas anyone?

what to do on Christmas for Christmas?

scratching my head now....


.SKOL shapeshifters.

i'm never drinking beer


Ok, let me think now, it all began yesterday.

me and my family went to 'Pantai Bersih' which is extremely dirty to have seafood.

and then as i was enjoying my beautiful but tasteless meal, this sudden shape emerged and trampled the whole place.

i caught a glimpse at her uniform and it was glowing golden.

i thought she was some dancing girl singing karaoke or whatever.... but turns out she's selling SKOL beer?

she's old, haggard and with that kinda uniform.... it looks like something i saw in the gladiators or troy.. only this time, it's body hugging and on a girl.

oh... the pollution to our environment.

SKOL is definitely not environmental conscious. those fucking SOBs in marketing are choosing their sales girls with their knees.

if that was the only straw, it'd be ok.

but imagine to my surprise that i saw them SKOL girls in Seawind again. Holy FUCK!

the shapeshifter had legs like a pig turd and her body hugging suit had piles of fat lards portruding out of her costume begging for some fresh air.
if i ever drink beer

er... i doubt i'll drink a SKOL


if there ever was a solution to everything in this life, it is called 'reformat'.

yes, i've had dozens of people asking me what to do with their computer. stuffs like adware, spyware, stuck, video card cannot work, not enough memory, computer crash, screen got no image, cd cannot use, ass cannot wipe and so on so forth.

i always tell them the exact same thing.

"if you can't solve them, reformat them".

.filler post.

yesterday we held a celebration for honeybee cause her birthday's coming soon.

first, we went to seawind to have a couple of beers. sea wind is located behind naza hotel in batu ferringhi. basically the place is a nice place to hangout but only with a couple of friends having beer. i drank orange juice which kinda sucks cause everyone fucking one there was drinking alcohol.

so, after the cake cutting ceremony and shiznits and all, we decided that the place wasn't exactly a mood breaker, so we uplifted the place to Glo.

It was weird looking at JollyYeap move his head to the rhythm of the beat. But we had a blast yesterday.

oh, yeah.. i got a new MP3 player for my car. cause the old one got busted. now, i get to listen to tons of pirated music.

Saturday, December 9, 2006

.attack of the rain.

he zooms around in his superbike.

i look at envy at his bike. what a cool guy, i thought.

his bike was plowing the roads even though it was raining... drizzling.

i sit in the comforts of my car with my friend, jollyyeap.

we gape in awe at his bike. how cool. a bike that is sheltered from rain.

a freaking bike with a roof.

i move in closer to his side to have a closer look. the bus beside me is not inching too.

and then the three of us all plow through a water puddle. the bus splashes water all over my windscreen. my wiper can't wipe it out fast enough.

i can't swerve to the left nor to the right.

and then we passed through the puddle.

i can't see that cool bike beside me anymore.
and then i realized... what a freaking bastard i've been.

i guess he thought rain only attacks from above.

little did he know that water can attack from all sides.

i sit in the comfort of my car laughing till tears were out of my eyes.

i didn't mean to splash him... but it was damn funny.

Friday, December 8, 2006

.wish come true.

catwen is back and we went out for yamcha yesterday. see how effective my blog post is? grants my wishes in like... half a day.

i hope i can win 4d. i hope i can win 4d.

haha. now can just sit back and wait?

oh yeah, must buy 4d first. haha.

Thursday, December 7, 2006


everyday damn sien.... work work work, no place to go and no one to go out with...

someone pls call me and ask me out b4 i go crazy.... anywhere! anyone!

Tuesday, December 5, 2006

.cure headaches instantly.

there are weird excuses that kids can come up with when they refuse to study.

so it didn't came as a surprise to me throughout my years of teaching. the things that i hear are preposterous but nevertheless, at least they make sense.

so, the other day, i was teaching gluttonboy in my house. he's kind of lazy.


who am i kidding. he's GOD DAMN irritatingly freaking LAZY.

which is good at times but not most of the times.

so, the other day, he was doing some homework and i was waiting for him to complete his work.

"URGH" grunted gluttonboy while holding his forehead and grimacing in pain.

"why?" i asked with a sincerely made up concerned face.

"I have a headache"

"what happened?" i asked?

"i cannot work (as in do exercises) too much. if i do, i get headaches" answered gluttonboy.

the level of bullshit in this scenario has increased 10 times. :-o

but i acted nonchalant and continued...

"like that, you have to see a doctor? have you seen one?"

"yes, i've seen one already. he said it can't be cured."

right about this time, my tummy was about to burst. but i ... maintained.

"then i got a cure for you"

"what is the cure?"

"from today onwards, you won't need to do work. we'll just be reading and studying."

"then i don't need to do any exercises?"

"no... i'll compile them and ask you to do it at home when your head is not hurting."

"teacher.... i think my head ok ady."



fireangel's got the white sexyback. i've got the black now.


Monday, December 4, 2006

.droopy jolt.

i was alone.

sitting here listening to the song that i've played and heard a thousand times. the song never fails to impress me.

my hands are starting to tremble and my heart is pounding slower. my eyes get droopy and my legs loosen up. i sing along to the song but my voice trails....

i've encountered this situation many times and i know this feeling coming over me. as they say, it's deja vu?

my eyes come to a slit and my tongue dries up.

i crack up the volume and shake my head. it's useless. i'm still losing all my brain functions slowly.

my breathing gets slower.

suddenly, i shouted. i shouted at the top of my lungs.


this jolted me up.

but it wasn't long before my eyes close.

and as i was driving down the penang bridge back to my house at 5.30am after the bbq, i prayed.

i prayed that i can reach home safely.

i guess i did it the chicken shit way and let god decide everything.

Sunday, December 3, 2006

.sooo freaking tired.

i'm soooo freaking tired from yesterday's bbq party.

i didn't take pictures but my friends took loads. i think i'll be too lazy to request it from them.

since yesterday till now, i think i had only a total of 2 hours of sleep and after blogging this, i still need to work.

i really need a break and a good sleep.

blog more another day k?

Saturday, December 2, 2006

.burkina faso donates money to me.


Dear client,

I am MR MR IBRAHIM ALPHER, credit officer of African Development Bank. I have an
urgent and very confidential business proposition for you.

In June, 2000, a German property consultant and importer of used cars ,Mr Andreas Schranner made a numbered time (Fixed) Deposit for twelve calendar months, valued at US$30,000,000.00(Thirty Million United States Dollars only) in my branch. It was to our utter suprise that we heard of his death, wife and children in an AF4590 plane crash in July 2000. See website below:

On further investigation,I found out that he died without making a WILL, and hitherto, all attempts to trace his next of kin was fruitless. Mr Andreas Schranner was residing at No 1 Rue de Avenida, G.R.A. ouagoudougou, burkina faso.
I therefore made further investigation and discovered that Mr Andreas
Schranner did not declare any kin or relations in all his official documents, including his Bank Deposit paperwork in my Bank. This sum of US$35,000,000.00 is still sitting in my Bank and the interest is being rolled over with the principal
sum at the end of each year. No one will ever come forward to claim it. According to Laws of burkina faso, at the expiration of 5 (five) years, the money will be declared frozen and forfeited to the burkina faso Government if nobody applies to claim the

Consequently, my proposal is that I will like you as a foreigner to stand in as the next of kin or business partner to Mr Andreas Schranner so that the fruits of this ld man's labor will not get into the hands of some corrupt government officials. This is simple, I will like you to provide immediately your full names and address,phone and fax numbers so that the i can prepare the necessary documents that will put you in place as the next of kin or business partner.Your role in the transaction is to send
an application for claim of the funds to our bank. Then, as top officials of the bank, I shall work behind-the-scene to make sure that your application is approved by the management of the bank, and the funds transfered to your nominated bank account.

Please note that there is no iota of risks at all as all the paperwork for this transaction will be done legitimately and with my positions as top officials of the bank i would ensure a successful execution of this transaction. If you are interested, please reply immediately to my email box.

Please send me your confidential telephone and fax numbers for easy communication.

You should observe utmost CONFIDENTIALITY AND SECRECY in this transaction, and rest assured that this transaction would be most profitable for both of us because I will require your assistance to invest my share in your country.

I look forward to your prompt response.

Thanks and regards.


My Reply :

Dear Mr. Ibrahim Alpher,

First of all, I highly doubt someone with such intellectual response such as you couldn't find a more suitable representative to receive this money on Mr
Andreas Schranner's behalf.

Second, although OUAGOUDOUGOU might be a respectable place in Burkina Faso, I doubt a bank official in such a weirdly named place could get access to such high profile bank investment details.

Third, I think burkina faso is spelt with two capital letters in this sentence "According to Laws of burkina faso, at the..". Thus a person with such disrespect to his state could mean that you don't value your state much. So, I again... highly doubt such a place would woo the interest of such prolific investors. Heck, I think I wouldn't even deposit my piggy bank in Burkina Faso.

Fourth, if you believe i will send you my telephone number, fax number, credit card no.. bank no... and whatever shit you want.. through e-mail without meeting you in person, you have to be extremely STONED. Unless you send me a naked picture of your wife or daughter who happens to be some HOT chick.

Fifth, I believe that you can put the money to good use by helping the retardeds. So i suggest that you help make the world a better place by shoving those large wads of cash up your ass and having gaylords sucking them out one by one.

Sincerely Fucked,


.i'm going for the bbq party tonight.

so, urm post pictures and more details tomorrow or sometime soon?

buh bye!

.random lessons.

When we look down, we know how big we are. When we look up, we realize how small we are. When we look in front, we see the obstacles and l...