Wednesday, March 29, 2006

.big changes, big opinions.

my mind is unusually crowded these days. i'm not going through a mid-life crisis am i?

it's really very hard going through transitions, especially when the changes depend on yourself.

i remember the last few big changes in my life. i mean, moving from a primary to secondary school was relatively easy. my parents decide where and why i would go.

the second time, it was a movement from secondary to tertiary. i mean, the first university i could grab my hands on, i go. it's not like i'm some rich brat able to choose from a plethora of colleges or overseas universities. my results are mediocre but nothing floppy. i deem it as passable.

at that time, it's very hard looking at other people my age with less than fantastic results going to larger than life colleges and universities. people getting to be lawyers, engineers, doctors, accountants and whatever shit they want. i don't envy those who deserve it but i certainly do envy those who don't but do get it.

whoever said life is fair should be shot and killed. and then raped and shot again. after that dragged around tied to a jeep. shot again (just to make sure).

people ranting about "bumiputeras" with less than perfect results going into universities while their child with perfect results not getting any opportunity should really just move to another country. it's less depressive. stop being a crybaby.

now, i'm again at a t-junction. this time, it all depends on me and who i want to be. it all depends on my abilities. i need to be able to smooth-talk my way into a job.

no one makes the decision now, and no one is forcing me to choose what i want to be now. however, it has all been decided from the first big change. my parents should know that, my path has been laid out the moment i enrolled into this course. but there's still a lot of path to choose from this road.

and i think that if it all fucks up from here, maybe... maybe i can just come back to this junction and choose again. maybe it's all that simple. maybe not. but optimism never killed anyone.

Monday, March 27, 2006

.green triplets.

I gave birth to three green triplets. and it got me worried.

i mean, GREEN triplets for god's sake.

i took the matter up to a female friend. they're more experienced in dealing with the know-hows of birth and birth control.

i told her. i don't want no weird babies. make them normal. i begged her.

she asks me "where is the baby?"

"flushed down the toilet"

she looked at me wearily and said "how can i give a proper diagnosis without looking at the victim?"

i said " screw you if you think you can take a peek at my lovely offsprings!"

she scrurried away with an indifference attitude.



fast forward 1 day.

she came knocking on my door...
"I've got the green babies too..."

i came out with a quirky remark like...
"serves you right, haha!"

Sunday, March 26, 2006

.handling a dull class.

you know, people can be weird. we revel in the fact that other people are gaining misfortune.

i come to class this morning to a lethargic population. everyone was sleepy and dull. it was , needless to say, boring.

i tried numerous ways to get them up to form including language games, hypes, activities, talking.. giving them a 10 minutes rest and so much more... but i guess it was to no avail.

then out of the blue, a couple of parents came in for the other class' teacher. they were basically grinding him. he was of course always late to class and irresponsible is an underrated adjective for him.

in that instant, once the volumes go up, my students found their aura. adrenalines rush. they were as active as monkeys.

i can't even control some of them. they were eager to bank in. to know... what misfortune has landed on the other teacher. they wanted information, at the expense of other's privacy and respect.

i can't really blame them. heck even i wanted to know what was going on.

but isn't it weird that we're more interested to know about other people's misfortune than their fortune? what has the community bred us into?

i remember a phrase i used to say.. we used to say.. which i got from "That 70's Show".

Ashton Kutcher "It's funny when friends get hurt."

and sadistically, that is true.

it's not funny when they get fatally injured but.... hurt... yes.

anyway, the next time your class is feeling dull and lethargic.

CREATE A CONTROVERSY!

it's a proven method.

Saturday, March 25, 2006

.no regrets before i die.

10 things I want to do before I die (in no particular order)

1. Climb Mount Kinabalu
2. Go parachuting
3. Learn How to Scuba Dive
4. Own my own car
5. Own my own house
6. Experience Snow
7. Visit the Dalai Lama
8. Tour the World
9. Jay Chou concert.
10. Get married and have nice little kids

Maybe 9 will do. The tenth is usually only permissible after the first nine.

Cause once i commit to number 10. I'll lose freedom to do no. 1,2,3,7,8.

Damn!

Thursday, March 23, 2006

.what will become.

everytime a day passes, i know it's a blessing. i never used to worry about the future. in my opinion, the future is never there. when the time comes, i will miraculuosly figure something out or something will happen. that was a few years back.

nowaday, questions keep pounding my head. questions about my future. what will happen to me and what will i do in the future?

i never thought about them until recently. my future, that is.

i never thought about my work, my love life, my financials...

who would've thought that the carefree me would be scratching my head about these things now.

i hope god has a plan for everything we all do. then hey, why think? let HIM do all the thinking. i can just rest my ass on the couch and everything will happen? maybe not.

i dunno. i'm kinda a bit of an atheist. i want to believe in something but the bitch in my brain can be sceptical sometimes. hey, don't take me wrong, i believe in things... just rarely in things i can't see. maybe faith is something i don't have.

my psm presentation is over. which means i got more time to meddle in trivial stuffs like my future. oh, hooray!

anyway, i caught "I not stupid too" by Jack Neo. It's nice. the concept is roughly the same as the first one.

kids get neglected, parents busy for trivial stuffs like money, and kid becomes bad, parents fuck them up, kids fuck them back, all of them realizes their mistake and voila, one happy family.

i mean, why worry about trivial stuffs like money, it's not like they're useful. take care of your wonderful kids. make them comfortable, feed them cockroaches.

who makes money important, who decides the value of money? we did. and we neglected all other virtues when we put money as the deciding factor of success. if success is not measured by the amount of money we have, but the amount of friends we have...

maybe we'd all be a bit nice to everyone. then success will be decided by Charisma.

so, if anyone is willing to forsake money for friendship will be a good friend.

to test this, gimme RM1000 and i'll be your best friend.

.fart.

can someone please create a vaccine for farting? it's killing me.

or maybe create a formula for silent odourless farts

Saturday, March 18, 2006

.a bisexual or homosexual?

have you all ever heard of "mungkin nanti" by peterpan? i've just gotten addicted to it a few days ago. well, maybe a couple of weeks ago but yeah, you get what i mean. anyway, this addiction usually occurs and only for a short period of time. before this, i think i was addicted to james blunt's "beautiful".

i've just passed up my thesis this afternoon. well to be exact it's yesterday afternoon cause it's 12.41 now. i don't know but the feeling of freedom hasn't really subside in yet. maybe it's because i still have the presentation next week. i mean, i have a fucking presentation in a couple of days. and to think that i could've gotten some time off from all the dark eye rings, sleepless nights and fucking lunatic minds of the previous days.

it's so stressed up it makes stressed up look not so stressed up.

anyway, the reason i blog today. yeah, brokeback mountain. it really screws up your life. i mean, mine was minor. (it was a shocking revelation seeing heath rub saliva up jake's ass and ride it like a dog.. but then again, which movie is perfect without a sex scene?)

i had a friend today who told me that he was confused after watching brokeback mountain. it was only the first disc and he's already confused. imagine him watching the next 1 hour...

he told me he could really relate to the story. i mean, i was shocked by this discovery but i guess it was coming anyway. he was a bit feminine but not voice. just like, there's something wrong with him but i can't really pin point it.

anyway, i guess he's going through a confusing state. i wanted to slap him and smack his balls. but i managed to stop myself cause i mean, he is my friend. any other person? he's dead.

he said he has a tendency to want to look at other male species. if they are considered handsome for him, he says sometimes he would love to see them naked. (now this part was shocking)

and then i asked him what he would do if a girl touched him and gave him all the right signals, would he go for her?

he said yes.

and change the girl part with a handsome guy...

he said yes.

another revelation... he's not homo, he's bisexual.

and then he said he has no interest in sex, even after watching porn. i said why? he said, he doesn't know. he says most probably it's because given a situation like that, he wouldn't even know what to do.

i told him, it comes naturally, like an animal hopping on to a bitch and riding it like a beast. he just haven't had the opportunity yet.

but he said, he'd know what to do with a guy. he has only one hole.

this is the part where i go WTF?

anyway, to cut to the chase, he says he's curious and wants to try these stuffs. (here's the part where i know it's getting bad...)

so i gave him a situation. a thought of situation.

"what if Kenny (not real name) was interested in you and hit on you. would you consider him?"

he tried to avoid the question but i pushed on...

he said "yes, he would."

i guess sometimes, "curiousity kills the cat".

Friday, March 17, 2006

.small update.

it's been a long time since i had a real post. nothing too fancy or joking about my encounters.

today, i finally felt a huge burden lifted off my shoulder. yeah, my thesis is finally over, now i just have to prepare for the presentation which hopefully will run smoother than I expect.

These few days have been hectic, i've lived on carbonated and energy drinks every night until the wee hours of morning and going to class later at 9 or 10 again. to say that it's tiring is under rated.

after doing and completing my thesis, i would have to say that thesis is over-rated. i had friends who paid other people to do it. and it only costs a few hundred bucks. if i knew it earlier, i probably wouldn't need to slog my ass up all night completing, modifying and trying to make this shitty piece of writing look perfect. geez, an A is definitely overrated too. i know it ain't worth this much of suffering.

i might be lazy these couple of weeks and i might post less cause it's the final year. and between my life and my blog.... hmm, i don't know.. but i think my life is a good bet since i can actually feel it and not only READ it!

feeling is good. we feel a lot of things. we feel orgasms, we feel love...
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.
.
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but we also feel hungry, poverty, PAIN, anxiety....

maybe feeling is over-rated too.

fuck, i'm actually contradicting myself. i need to get some shut eye. tata.

.as good as prom.

i have no prom nite, so i guess TESL (my course) nite would do. basically, it's just what we all do in a faculty night. i'll let the pictures do the talking while i just keep pressing the upload button.







that's all for now. gtg and sleep. it's 5.30 am here.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

.a preview.

coming soon....


Sunday, March 12, 2006

.ayah kita bos.

a plug! believe me, it's good.

.spam is pork.

i wish spam is classified as JUST pork meat in the dictionary.

NO....!

Technology has to come and fuck up spam and give it a new meaning.

Now, I am a victim of spam.

Saturday, March 11, 2006

.a typical conversation.

SICK...~~ says:
jimmy da man

jee - stuck with PSM says:
wtf?

SICK...~~ says:
wtf

jee - stuck with PSM says:
wtf?

SICK...~~ says:
u very bad hor

SICK...~~ says:
i found a way to conceal my pimples

SICK...~~ says:
first i put lotion

SICK...~~ says:
then i put oxy cover

SICK...~~ says:
then i put concealer

SICK...~~ says:
then i put cover stick

SICK...~~ says:
then put foundation

jee - stuck with PSM says:
wah lau

jee - stuck with PSM says:
a lot of shit man

SICK...~~ says:
then put oxy cover again

SICK...~~ says:
then put loose powder

SICK...~~ says:
good ler

jee - stuck with PSM says:
that is like... horseshit on your face dude

SICK...~~ says:
but at least my pimples are less visible

jee - stuck with PSM says:
cause of the horseshit... yes!

SICK...~~ says:
did u notice my pimples are less visible just now

SICK...~~ says:
i put oxy cover

jee - stuck with PSM says:
urm... i wasn't looking but i'll try to notice the horseshit next time

SICK...~~ says:
come and look at me la

SICK...~~ says:
i try to take pic

jee - stuck with PSM says:
fuck........

Wednesday, March 8, 2006

.non-conformist victory.

i know i said i'm not going to blog and i'm on a hiatus until sunday but let's just imagine that i'm fucking bored out of my balls here.

anyway, yesterday was ... let me guess a tuesday. yeah, and i decided to go to this room where they keep all the collection of thesis. No doubt, like any other room in UTM, it needs to be supervised. However, the supervision in my faculty is done by an absolute complete moron who have no social skills whatsoever.

I can't really blame him since he's cooped up in that room everyday and no one talks to him. the room is kind of like a library and being the sole guardian, he's pretty fucked up alone. whenever i go into the room, i open the door, and...

TAADAAA!

i am greeted by his miser looking fucking face. His mouth looks like it's about to spew shit. the degree of blackness in his face surpasses the colour black. if black is the new fashion, then he must be the coolest guy in town. i mean, i would've taken a picture of him but my current hp doesn't allow silent picture taking.

anyway, the other day i was following all the normal dressing code... except for sandals of course. i was just being comfortable. and besides, it wasn't any formal occasion. i just wanted to go in there to read up on previous researches and do some reviews.

As i walked in, he was being quiet and all. and there was this bunch of girls wearing all black inside there. I dunno but i guess they're all from the same gang. Anyway, I ignored the fucker's black face and continued in. for the first five seconds, it was ok.... until he called out to me..

"WOI! selipar tak boleh masuk. keluar, keluar"

I immediately gave him two thumbs up and continued out. I knew I was going to get my revenge but i just din know how.

when i went out, the girls was looking at me in some pitiful state.

And then, a couple of guys were going in after i went out. they were wearing selipars too. without a doubt, they were out faster than i could say "smackarrooo".

i was walking around outside the room when i noticed my friend. And OMFG, he was wearing shoes.

I borrowed his shoes and OMFG, it was a perfect fit. fuck, that fella's gonna get it from me!

I went in again, this time, with shoes. I passed by him and he kept quiet. I believe the word for him is DUMBFOUNDED!

and then, as i walked in with a triumphant look, the girls were giggling and sniggering.

i guess it's a battle well won by the non-conformist!

fuck milk! drink beer!

i mean, i have nothing against rules but students should have their own working space. i understand rules agains taking drugs, parking, drunk-driving, fucking, smoking and whatever the fuck. but rules that constrain our creativity and our comfort are what fucks me up the most.

i mean, this year, or maybe last year, they had this rule that students must wear formal attire every monday. who the fuck gives a shit if it is monday. i want to wear what is comfortable to my class and it's only a couple of hours and then i'm back. the canteens don't provide us with air-con unlike working places so... why the fuck do you want to force us to wear something which is uncomfortable and will make us sweat like pigs. fuck you administration bastards in your air-conditioned hell holes.

They propose all this idealistic shit rules but they never get the reality intact. WTF is wrong with these people? if something ain't broken, don't mess with it. fuckheads!

the next thing you know, the administration will ask us to wear coats on monday which will lead to strokes. believe me, if the heat won't give me one, the anger will!

well, at least i fucked up someone's brain yesterday! yeah! don't mess with the JEE!

blue jackal (read comments) asked me to insert pictures into this post.. so here it goes...
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have a good day mates! :)

Tuesday, March 7, 2006

.hiatus.

i'll be taking a hiatus until sunday. until then. chow...

Monday, March 6, 2006

.two hands.

i found this on my mail, thanks to kaval and i'd like to share it with all.

>_< First of all, why women have two hands
and why men have two hands...


i especially love the expression on this bugger!

.Kodak Easyshare V570 Review.

i wrote about it here.



read the full review with my exact sentiments here : link.

The EasyShare V570 is the only compact digital camera in the world that has both a traditional 3X zoom and an ultra wide-angle lens. The camera has more than its share of negatives (listed below), but if you're after a compact camera that can do wide and telephoto shots, the V570 is the only game in town. If you take a lot of low light or flash photos, or if you desire manual controls, then I'd suggest looking elsewhere -- but for everyone else, the V570 is definitely worth a look.

What I liked:

  • Two lenses: 23 mm ultra wide-angle and normal 39 - 117 mm
  • Compact and stylish metal body
  • Large, high res LCD is viewable outdoors and in low light
  • Nice panorama mode with built-in stitcher (though see issue below)
  • Easy-to-use, tons of scene modes
  • Great movie mode; zoom lens can be used during filming; electronic image stabilizer
  • Excellent software bundle

What I didn't care for:

  • Images on the soft and noisy side
  • Poor battery life
  • Low light focusing isn't great
  • Fingers can easily end up in photos taken with the ultra wide lens
  • Weak flash; redeye a problem
  • 5X zoom range is not continuous: there's a gap between 23 and 39 mm (most notable when zooming in movie mode)
  • Original images not saved when using panorama scene mode
  • USB and A/V ports require camera dock, unless you buy optional adapter; only supports USB 2.0 Full Speed

KTHXBAI. I need to go back to my PSM.

Sunday, March 5, 2006

.screw it.

i won't be a teacher.

i hate the fucking rules in this profession.

fuck them

it's lost.

it's gone.

it's forgotten.

now i need to move forward in a different direction.
hopefully a better one.

Saturday, March 4, 2006

.oil no cheap.

i walk throught the revolving door and watch as it close behind me.

I put my hand into my pocket desperately searching for some change.

before i manage to pick up the amount needed, the bus startled forward. I was pushed back. I held on to the railing, tight.

Then, I found out i have not enough change. The price to my destination costs 1.80. I have only 2 bucks.

He says there's no change. So, i figured, what the heck.

I put my money in and find a spot.

I sit down beside this guy. He seems foreign.

I kept quiet along the way.

He starts to touch my leg. I jolted forward and tried to ignore the first time thinking it was an accident.

But then, I felt the second stroke.

WTF? Did he watch too much brokeback mountain?

I turn to him and gave him a stern look, it's a back off look.

At the same time I started looking for other places to sit but since the petrol increase, the people in the buses are crowded. 4.4 billion for public transportation my ass.

I got down at the next exit and the fella beside me followed.

I got scared and walked faster trying to alternate my speed and watching whether he's following.

True enough, he is following.

I reached the front gate of my house and fumbled for the key. He's coming very fast towards me.

I got scared and shouted for someone inside the house to open the door.

He's just ten steps away from me...

Nine, Eight, Seven....

"Creak......", dad opens the door.

He was startled and stopped for a while. Then he passed me.

I went in and locked the door.

I told dad my and asked him to buy me a car.

He says "Son, petrol naik 30 sen. Najib says must adapt."

I turned around and say "My ka chng also must adapt hiar?"

<---------------------- // ---------------------------->

i thought Najib was preposterous. Shahidan is even worse.
KANGAR: Mentri Besar Datuk Seri Shahidan Kassim has called on civil servants in Perlis to cycle to work following the fuel price increase.
CCB, you think civil servant very free wan to cycle hiar? and then got no sun hiar? wan to buy sunblock also more expensive ady lar. CCB.

And then you wan us to cycle to work? CAN! no problem.

You sell your fucking government car and go buy a fucking bicycle first.

fuck the chee bye politicians, know how to say this and that.

The last time i went to a cinema, the fucking dato and his fucking wife has to hog one whole elevator while the rest of us wait for his fucking idiotic ass to go down. His invisible ass damn big, can take up the whole elevator. Chee bye!

dato, yb and whatever shit politician, if you want us to trust what you say.... get down from your car and take the public transportation for one week. Then you tell us how it feels.

CB, everything good good, suddenly wan to screw us and take our money go to build public transportation for no reason.

MAS is public transportation ar?

Partly because of that, Joe Public began to suspect the RM4.4 billion saved on subsidy may be used for MAS bailout. The people, rationality clouded by anger, just need to do some simple calculations and doubts enveloped their mind.

Subsidy saved: RM4.4b; MAS turnaround: RM4b

Friday, March 3, 2006

.degree ++ my ass!

yeah, UTM is organizing Degree++ shit.

I can't wait to attend it.

I'm so excited and drugged.

Ignore the three sentences on top.

If that was me talking... shoot me in the limbs and hang me down from the Penang Bridge.

actually fucking UTM is forcing us good honest cute hardworking fifth year students to attend a fucking seminar which focuses on stupid minute irrelevant skills like...

urm.

"how to get yourself employed"

wtf is this? I wonder whether they teach the true gist of how to get ourself employed. the true secret would be ..

no.1 : know someone high up in the blood sucking corporate ladder.
no. 2 : fuck the managers brain out if they're of the opposite sex.

these two secrets will get you everywhere.

none of those wear smart and talk shit kinda bullshit will work.
If you can talk, you win. And some people who just can't speak English expect their English to suddenly improve after taking a 2 day course on "Communication". Fuck you!

Your English's gonna go nowhere.

Believe me, I've tried a semester of Japanese and in the end... i'm still struggling with nouns.

there are also bullshit courses which are offered... (there is a long list and we have to choose another 2 apart from the "how to get yourself employed")

I can see it all clearly tomorrow.

Slide 1 "Title : How to get yourself employed"

First of all, go into the company with some knowledge about the crap they're doing. After you're equipped with that knowledge, act like you know everything they're doing from A to Z. The only thing is, you learnt and got it all from their official website.

Second, attire. Wear a decent shit. Don't go for some jeans and t-shirt combination and expect yourself to get employed. That's just plain stupid. Heck, even I wouldn't hire you to suck my cock. Women, wear something revealing but professional. Men, give up.

Third, posture. Don't be a notre-dame. Don't be a wuss. Stand up straight, sit up straight and no matter what the examiner says... erect straight.
don't shoot though.

Fourth, speech. Talk professionally and eloquently. not like some dipwad with shit on your mouth.

Fifth, urm... be knowledgeable but not more knowledgeable than the person sitting in front of you. he/she'll feel threatened.

Sixth, don't jack off while you're at it.

Seven, be confident. don't look like a virgin. it'll screw your brains up!

Eight, an interview is a formal occasion. act according to the occasion. don't get all rowdy or too acquainted with the fucking people in front of you.

Nine, if the fella in front of you is having his cock sucked, ignore it. If the fella in front of you is having her vagina licked, ignore it. Don't ask for the same treatment or don't try to wink the fella below the table. don't even peep.

Ten, pray kuan yin "poh pee".

Thursday, March 2, 2006

.knowledge acquired through a bunch of female housemates.

well, living with a bunch of girls has it's pros and cons. a couple of days ago i heard this weird story which i am going to relate to you all. however, the identity of the victim will be kept secret.

let me see now, let us call this girl alisha. alisha is a very blur girl. and she comes from a normal background. not too rich, not too poor.

one day, she decided to hand-wash some of her clothes instead of using the washing machine cause i think she deems them urm... easily spoiled by the machine.

so, she proceeds to soak her jeans and some shirts in a pail. after leaving it there for like, half an hour. she proceeds to squat down in the bathroom and scrub them.

after one long hour of scrubbing and rinsing. she thought she has cleaned them all. so, she proceeds to pour the whole bucket of soap water down the toilet bowl.

now, up until here, everything she did was correct. except she didn't look into the pail first?

according to my experience, always, always, always look into the pail before pouring the whole fucking content into the toilet bowl.

it turns out she left her panties in the pail and then she didn't notice it when pouring the whole soapy, yucky water into the toilet bowl and flushing it at the same time!

however, that's not the worst part.

as if by instinct.... she moved her right hand.

into the toilet bowl... all this in an attempt to save her panties cause she thought it might clog up the toilet.

i refuse to describe the whole process in detail but u get the gist.

hand - in toilet bowl - futile attempt to save panties - PUNKED!



//<-- on a different note -->//


another great revelation before this unfortunate incident also occured. i mean, it has nothing to do with panties but everything to do with bras. i mean, we, have push-up bras, padded bras, lingerie, and all those shit right.

but it seems the people in the innovation OR marketing department has come up with another type of bra.

It's a stick-on bra!

fuck it. it's called a flexibra but i can sense a stick-on bra when i see a stick on bra.

my housemate's bf bought it for her (i think) from lelong.

i'm not gonna pretend like i'm a know it all and do a review on this bra cause in order to do a review, YOU have to USE the product first. the lack of mammary glands in my biological system prevents me from doing so.

but in order to prove my point that this flexibra is actually a marketing term for stick-on bra... let's take a look at it.

these three ladies evoke emotions (think lesbians) but they have nothing whatsoever to do with the product they're selling. i would prefer triumph's or any other caplang brand advertisement over this bland product packaging!
introduction. read for yourself. a full cup larger... instantly. :O
got warning somemore wei! dun play play!
bla bla bla...
frontback. the plastic is to protect the adhesive?
i added a normal driving license for actual size comparison.
a closer look.

now, all males don't need to go through the hassle of unclenching the bra from the back.
just ... UNCUP them.

Wednesday, March 1, 2006

.fuck flu.

i'm down with flu. and fever for the couple of odd days. but now, this dry cough just won't go away!

and it's pissing me and everyone near me OFF!