.stopping at a junction.

on one hand, i have the chance of a secure but boring future.

on the other, i see challenges, countless problems and etc...

by filling in the "posting" form. i can see myself 10 years from now.

with countless books on my desk waiting to be revised.
with maybe a nice pair of spectacles and some neat side parting hair.
with a cupboard full of slacks and shirts, and ties.
with screaming children in my mind.
with a car, a normal Proton maybe.
with a daily routine as boring as superman on kryptonite.
with a monthly paycheck as predictable as my left hand.
with no life, except those prescribed by the government and the ministry.
with nothing but a normal life easily forgotten but never easily appreciated until it's too late.

but without the posting form...

i can see myself 10 years from now...

with nothing.

nothing to wait for monthly in my bank account.
nothing on my daily routine.
nothing to start from.
nothing to expect.
nothing to end.

but also with everything..

everything to desire for.
everything to hope for.
everything to expect for.


the future seems so blank from where i'm standing.
it seems like there is no future for me.
it seems like the moment is eternal. this moment is eternal.
it seems like i just might have to wait.

wait for a chance.
wait for an opportunity.
wait for it.

just to keep on waiting....

that's my life now.