as the day approaches, my heart thumped a little harder. the nervous feeling penetrates my heart and shivers my toes and fingers. i have never felt such anxiety before. even worse, i never felt sooo unprepared in my life. i know the routine, i've practiced it one too many times.
as i walk into that room, the sweat on the palm of my hands start to dry up. not because of the room temperature but because i think i've used up my daily quota of sweats.
i pick up the pencil, lined my ruler and eraser at one side and align them vertically like the papers in front of me. i dare not pick up those papers until my name was called. it shook me up and made me realize that i was actually behind the pack. i gathered my strength and started.
that was a long time ago. and i don't quite remember the event clearly.. but i think i can relate to the feeling. i can still remember the feeling i had in Standard Six when i was sitting for my UPSR because i felt as if that day was the most important day of my life.
i just never realised at that time... that there will be so many OTHER "most important" days of my life.
I felt that it was the most important day of my life during PMR. and SPM....
and during my application to the university, I felt it was both the most important CHOICE and the most important DAY of my life.
I can still remember opening up the envelope. the anxiety of opening up the envelope was like opening up a new pack of Dragonball Cards to find that elusive SPECIAL POWER CARD. the feeling was like a fat boy opening a pint of Baskin Robbins (i say this cause i ate BR yesterday... 31% off *-^ ). Ain't that a nice feeling?! Almost like a gay person having his first ANAL experience.... (kidding about this)
anyway, the most important day of my life resurfaced again during my final examination in UTM. After 5 years, you'd think that it'll all accumulate to that one particular point.
and then there's tomorrow, which will no doubt be the most important day of my life AGAIN. cause then's when i graduate.
i'm sure when i land a job, it'll be one of the most important choice of my life AGAIN. and my marriage.... my first kid, my kid's first word, first ANYTHING....
it'll all be THE MOST IMPORTANT SHIT IN MY LIFE..... AGAIN!
ain't it a bitch that there's so many IMPORTANT SHITS in our life.
sometimes i wish i could just see my future with every choice i make... that way.. there'd be none of those IMPORTANT shits.
and the feeling of anxiety like a pre-schooler having shat his pants wouldn't be quite so prevalent everytime i'm about to encounter this experience.
BTW, tomorrow's graduation ceremony. i think I SHAT ME PANTS.....
as i walk into that room, the sweat on the palm of my hands start to dry up. not because of the room temperature but because i think i've used up my daily quota of sweats.
i pick up the pencil, lined my ruler and eraser at one side and align them vertically like the papers in front of me. i dare not pick up those papers until my name was called. it shook me up and made me realize that i was actually behind the pack. i gathered my strength and started.
that was a long time ago. and i don't quite remember the event clearly.. but i think i can relate to the feeling. i can still remember the feeling i had in Standard Six when i was sitting for my UPSR because i felt as if that day was the most important day of my life.
i just never realised at that time... that there will be so many OTHER "most important" days of my life.
I felt that it was the most important day of my life during PMR. and SPM....
and during my application to the university, I felt it was both the most important CHOICE and the most important DAY of my life.
I can still remember opening up the envelope. the anxiety of opening up the envelope was like opening up a new pack of Dragonball Cards to find that elusive SPECIAL POWER CARD. the feeling was like a fat boy opening a pint of Baskin Robbins (i say this cause i ate BR yesterday... 31% off *-^ ). Ain't that a nice feeling?! Almost like a gay person having his first ANAL experience.... (kidding about this)
anyway, the most important day of my life resurfaced again during my final examination in UTM. After 5 years, you'd think that it'll all accumulate to that one particular point.
and then there's tomorrow, which will no doubt be the most important day of my life AGAIN. cause then's when i graduate.
i'm sure when i land a job, it'll be one of the most important choice of my life AGAIN. and my marriage.... my first kid, my kid's first word, first ANYTHING....
it'll all be THE MOST IMPORTANT SHIT IN MY LIFE..... AGAIN!
ain't it a bitch that there's so many IMPORTANT SHITS in our life.
sometimes i wish i could just see my future with every choice i make... that way.. there'd be none of those IMPORTANT shits.
and the feeling of anxiety like a pre-schooler having shat his pants wouldn't be quite so prevalent everytime i'm about to encounter this experience.
BTW, tomorrow's graduation ceremony. i think I SHAT ME PANTS.....
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August 31, 2006
4
Comments
thanks!