Wednesday, May 7, 2014

A new beginning.

I woke up in a blur. I don't know if it was my eyes or because I'm not wearing my glasses but everything was white. The whole room. it took some time to accustom myself to the colours. I could see the lines from my hand and my neck as well as my tummy. i was on at least 10 different lines.

it took them three days before they moved me to the high dependency ward. i heard some people took a week or more but since there was another operation pending, i had to move out sooner. HDW, was boring. i can still remember groaning and etching my face in pain after every movement. walking didn't happen for a few days. i could only smile and talk. everything else was hard.

within a week, some of the lines were down and there was water in my lungs. i had a line into my lung to drain out the water. again, i felt pain in every movement. the morphines helped but i found myself relying on it too much sometimes. i wanted to wean it off and slowly i did. my wound was still bleeding and it was still open. the wait was horrendous. the heal just wouldn't close after weeks and sometimes, it gets worse.

by the second month. i had to re-suture my wounds. it was a painful experience and again i find myself relying on a lot of morphine. it took me almost a week to regain my composure and drop off the morphine.

now two months later, i'm still visiting the hospital everyday to clean my wound. they're closing but a few stubborn ones are taking longer than expected. i can walk better and regain some semblance of a walking posture now. before this, i was just an old slouching grandpa moving like a snail.

i still wear my mask wherever i go. i still avoid sick people and i probably will for the rest of my life. i'm replying my e-mails now and watching more movies. i'm also eating better. life is fragile. i might not know when there will be rejection of my new organ but i'd be god damned if i don't live my life better and enjoy my life more.

take care people. the third part of this trilogy will be posted once i figure out how to get things 'NORMAL' again.

p/s: my radial nerve is not healed yet though. my left hand side thumb and index finger are still numb.