On the brink...

I'm yellow again. I was admitted since Saturday and I got a discharge just now. Not because I was healthy but because they can't do anything about it except refer me to Selayang Hospital.

During the tenure of my stay in the hospital, I met Dr. TJ Wong, the surgeon who was accompanying my surgeon, Prof Sumasundrom (sp?) during my 7 weeks Kasai operation. It seems I was the first successful Kasai operation in Malaysia. Here I am, almost 30 years old and I should be proud of myself.

But as we grow older, we want to live longer.

I was admitted for 4 days and I've never felt the love of a hot warm bath and the comfort of my own bed as deeply as I do now. My body wash is a Biore whitening body wash and its funny that no matter how hard I scrub, I just can't get the yellow under my skin out of my body.

This episode is not an infection, it is not cholangitis. This time, its the hepatic duct leading to the porta being narrow and getting stuck. They should be able to just remove the stones and the blockage but due to the fact that I'm under consideration for liver transplant, Dr TJ Wong, can't do anything about it. And from the brief conversation with Selayang Hospital, they have no choice but to wait for the liver transplant. They don't want to risk the infection or corrective operational risk this might bring.

I have no qualms with both decisions, god will decide. For now, I can only trust the doctors. The problem is, how much longer can my body hold on to this bile obstruction. If the blood results tomorrow come out stable, I should be able to hold on longer. If it gets worse, I might not have much time.

Mom, if one day you read this... I'm sorry you didn't get to go to Europe. I can't say it to your face, I feel ashamed but I promise you I will not take another step out of the country till I get you to Europe.

Unless of course you get the insurance refund then I'm absolved of all responsibilities... right? :)

I still love you mom. xoxo.

To the girl that worries about me, it is crazy how much I care about you now that I simply can't bring myself to hurt you anymore. I will see you soon and when I do... I will love you with all my heart and maybe more. :)

Comments

Tammy Khoo said…
Hi dear, hope you are doing well. I did not know you were out that bad. May God shine you light to good news, good health and love.

hugs Hugs HUggggsss.
speedrider said…
be strong my friend
Rachel said…
Jimmmy, just want you to know that we've been praying for you that you'll get through this hurdle safely. My family sends their regards and love. Stay strong dear, if you need anything, anything we can help you with, let me know k? Sending you lots of love, hugs and kisses.. xoxo...

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