Sunday, October 31, 2010

.life.

In life, when all those that matters stop mattering... what else do we have?
Money can buy so much. True, those who say money doesn't buy happiness obviously have not lived in poverty. Families quarrel, couples squibble, siblings fight and friendships can end for money.

But the last couple of weeks have taught me that life matters much more. Money is just an object to reach a means of satisfaction. I've been striving so hard to make ends meet that I live everyday like it was a party cause I think I deserve it. I mean, what's work without fun and vice versa?

As I was sitting in the ward room, praying to whichever god that'll listen I realize that the people who stand beside me through thick and thin are brought by love. I don't think family will abandon you for money. At least not in my family, we were raised in a more traditional way. We're all hard on the outside, but inside, I know love is there. We don't hug, send love messages, heck we even hardly talk about anything except making jokes and throwing stuffs around. Basically we mind our own business. But when it matters, we are there. We support each other in ways we know how. We care but we don't know how to show it. Of course I'm talking about my siblings. My mom is an abundance of nagging hardcore love. She's like this nagging queen who's not afraid to cry, shout at the nurse/doctor or fight for an inkling of anything that's good for her children. I guess she fights with her heart for everything 'family'.

Friendship. So much meaning yet so little to so many. I don't need you to come visit me when I'm under the grave. I don't need you to travel to great lengths to make me happy. I need you to just be there when times are bad. When things matter. I'm glad for so much of friendship. In life, I value friendship a lot. I will go to great lengths to make things matter for a friend but wrong me once and it's over. If there's anything I can't tolerate, it's friends who pretend, who connive and who are just plain irritating.

So much has been on hold ever since I'm sick. So much ideas in my head and so much more I want to realize. Time is running out, I want a normal laid back life but at the same time I sooo want to strive and make a difference in this world. I'm confused. Once I'm better, there'll be more of me around foodies tasting different varieties in life and less of me partying around. I better get my weight in control before I spiral into a balloon. Next destination? Yakiniku & Rasa Sayang buffet. Next month hopefully...

till then tk, will post more about work once I'm ready.

3 commented:

c0co said...

you will!!! take care and enoy your life to the max!=D~

pelf said...

I hope you get REALLY well soon, because, like I said earlier, you're too awesome to be sick :D I love your zest for life :D

jimmy.ang said...

jocelyn: thanks. u too ya.
pelf, thank you so much for everything. Love you lots!