.the crossroad of life.

this is the crossroad of my life and i click my eye as i take this adventure.

i wont be blogging until further notice.

this is a blog hiatus. i think i kinda need it after all i've been through.
life just isn't running as i expected. i need time to heal my soul and my mind.

personally, i can't think of anything to write anymore. life is a big bunch of shit for me. it's too complicated.

i worry about the things that are not supposed to matter but they mean a lot to me.
and the things that i'm supposed to worry, that matters... i hardly care about them.

so, i think i need time to clear my mind and my life. get everything reorganized and then leave my life for a while. to think about stuffs...

i'm still young... but it feels as if i've been shoved a burden so big it ain't real.




i dreamt about you yesterday. it's so surreal that i woke up wishing it was true. that you were there.

i smile and i laugh when i speak to you... when i talk to you. but it hurts me so much. do you know that? i bet you think it's easy for me to let go? when you said it's bad if i can't let you go. i know that too. i don't need you to tell me that. i kinda understand that the minute i fell for you.

you're the most perfect thing that i never planned for. i never wanted to fall into this pit so black i doubt i'll ever see the silhouette of the sun again.

but i'm clawing my way out.

i'll be a ghost from now on. forever here for you and wishing you happiness.
but i'm afraid that once you found it...
i'll never be able to hear your voice call my name again.

"if you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with."

as i'm hearing to this john legend's where did my baby go in my ipod, i feel nice. there's something soothing about listening to him... his music is food for my soul. i've been putting him on replay like since forever.

this is the end, for this blog. but not forever.
chow. ;)

wish me luck people.

ps: dad, i wish you were here. i wish you could just laugh at my stupidity and say... life goes on. i miss you more than ever. you'd always give me advice. nonsensical advices which come to think of it... makes me think you don't even care. but i guess it's because you know better
.

Comments

suanie said…
good luck in whatever u are out to do, come back soon :)
Anonymous said…
Good Luck.

Awaiting for The Return Of Jee Mee
jolene said…
he probably does know better. and sometimes, we need to learn by experience; we wouldn't even listen to advice.

take care. it can hurt really bad when you lose it, but i'd rather have loved and lost. :)
butt said…
i have that problem with finding things to write about, too.
J!MMY said…
thanks for all the well wishes. i found a new job.

i'm also starting to write but not as often as last time yet.... at least not so fast. one thing at a time k?