.important everything.

as the day approaches, my heart thumped a little harder. the nervous feeling penetrates my heart and shivers my toes and fingers. i have never felt such anxiety before. even worse, i never felt sooo unprepared in my life. i know the routine, i've practiced it one too many times.
as i walk into that room, the sweat on the palm of my hands start to dry up. not because of the room temperature but because i think i've used up my daily quota of sweats.

i pick up the pencil, lined my ruler and eraser at one side and align them vertically like the papers in front of me. i dare not pick up those papers until my name was called. it shook me up and made me realize that i was actually behind the pack. i gathered my strength and started.

that was a long time ago. and i don't quite remember the event clearly.. but i think i can relate to the feeling. i can still remember the feeling i had in Standard Six when i was sitting for my UPSR because i felt as if that day was the most important day of my life.

i just never realised at that time... that there will be so many OTHER "most important" days of my life.

I felt that it was the most important day of my life during PMR. and SPM....

and during my application to the university, I felt it was both the most important CHOICE and the most important DAY of my life.

I can still remember opening up the envelope. the anxiety of opening up the envelope was like opening up a new pack of Dragonball Cards to find that elusive SPECIAL POWER CARD. the feeling was like a fat boy opening a pint of Baskin Robbins (i say this cause i ate BR yesterday... 31% off *-^ ). Ain't that a nice feeling?! Almost like a gay person having his first ANAL experience.... (kidding about this)

anyway, the most important day of my life resurfaced again during my final examination in UTM. After 5 years, you'd think that it'll all accumulate to that one particular point.

and then there's tomorrow, which will no doubt be the most important day of my life AGAIN. cause then's when i graduate.

i'm sure when i land a job, it'll be one of the most important choice of my life AGAIN. and my marriage.... my first kid, my kid's first word, first ANYTHING....


ain't it a bitch that there's so many IMPORTANT SHITS in our life.

sometimes i wish i could just see my future with every choice i make... that way.. there'd be none of those IMPORTANT shits.

and the feeling of anxiety like a pre-schooler having shat his pants wouldn't be quite so prevalent everytime i'm about to encounter this experience.

BTW, tomorrow's graduation ceremony. i think I SHAT ME PANTS.....
August 31, 2006


bUttsH4k3r said…
mine was an absolute bore. i hate formal events. hope yours will be more exciting than mine.
Anonymous said…
happy graduation!
Sewjin said…
good luck out there!
Jimmy Ang said…
it wasn't any bit more exciting.



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