thank you for coming to my humble abode again. it seems that your life now revolves around me, which is actually part of a bigger plan to capture the world.
anyway, i notice that i'm getting worried and more afraid of going to the doctors. i was never afraid, it was routine last time.
however, my skepticisms and worry arouses my interest on...
WHY DA FUCKING FUCK AM I SOOO FUCKING WORRIED?
i was never worried, not last time, not any time in the past. however, since I had my tummy ache during hari raya... probably right after, i have been experiencing mild tummy cramps.. tummy aches for the past few days.
however, this time, the pain is nothing big... the tummy cram that is.
the stomach ache and the puking on that day when i had to sleep in the bed 24 hours... that was horrendous... horrible, fucking terrible and maybe even vegetable.. lame joke, i know, but wtf i haven't slept the whole day. it's 8 am now.
and then it hit me, i'm afraid of the doctors cause i'm afraid of what they will and might say. i know something is not right this time... it's just... different, the last time i was killed by jaundice shit all over me, it was still ok.. but this tummy cram is worrying, maybe it's because i never experienced it.
now i know why old people dread to go to the doctors.. they are afraid of the result. i know all those early detection shit leads to a better chance of recovery... but imagine if you wake up tomorrow with a lump on your breast. won't you be afraid to go to the doctors? getting it checked is the right thing... but you'd still wish it will go away tomorrow, or maybe the week after.
you'd still wish it will all go away and then you'd not need to have to face the doctor and hear him/her say.. you're fucking screwed with cancer, i need to cut up a lump of your breast, of course he'd put it or phrase it differently like.. "you are experiencing the first stage of breast cancer, i might need to remove it asap".
as if that'd help me.. fuck you.
also, men also can get breast cancer wan you know? what would become of our breasts / chests?
one sided hole ar?
fuck cheebye lar, i make appointment with the physician in selayang hospital ady...
but before that, singapore first... maybe pulau sibu if i'm lucky.. after that, selayang and then genting, after that mar... IKEA lor. i want to buy quilt cover in IKEA and a display rack + work table... maybe change a cd tower into a display rack to put all my robot/ figurines and shit like those....
i love IKEA.
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