.dude, what's wrong with this picture?

well, congratulations. you're just gonna read an emo post courtesy of jimmy ang.

if you don't feel gay, don't read this emo post. emo is not nemo or the sesame street emo. emo is emotional. so, get your shit ready.


well, first of all. what the flying fuckadoodle is fucking wrong with this freaking fucking picture?

fucking crooked smile! chee bye, so hot lar!
somemore so small eyes? focus focus focus! chee bye flash, made me squint!


well, i'm sure a lot of you would go, wtf? nothing wrong what? looks so fucking normal. chew! chee bye lar. bluff us, what emo shit you want to talk about ha?! the colors ok, the people especially the one on the left looks soooooo cute. the positions are wonderful, quality superb! what the fuck is wrong? nothing lar! fucking jimmy bluff us!

if you're looking at terms of photo quality i can tell you that nothing is wrong. there is noone at the back making funny faces too. also there is nothing on the signs or posts or even the dressing. we were dressed particularly well for the occasion.

well, let me introduce the party of fantastic four first. from the left, standing of course...mee, mom, bro and my uncle.

yes, my uncle. my friends, this is not one big family. why? cause my dad is missing from the picture. yes, my long lost dad. pardon me if you're bored with stories of my dad but i happen to miss him very much and if you fucking hate me moaning go have yourself a nice hot cup of shut the fuck up!

yes, my dad is missing from the picture. why? he passed away several years ago due to carcinoma... or cancer. liver cancer.

it seems like yesterday i could hear him calling me. sometimes when he's angry he would call me chee bye kia! lai chi peng! i know, sounds a bit harsh but everyone has tempers. my dad's just a bit like flaming big balls of fire.

he passed away at a prime stage of his life. when everything was financially stable. when his hard work finally paid off. he used to tell me that his dream was to sit down in front of the tv and watch television while eating chicken rice.. everyday. how naive can my dad be. so cute yet so vulgar.

he would also usually force me out cause he hates going out alone. once i didn't want to and he threatened to write it in his diary. he had a diary? WTF? i knew he didn't so i said, "write lar!". and i continued watching my favourite movie as if it's the best thing in the world. quality time? just give me some personal time i thought. i was young and rebellious. then, he whips out his notebook. the one where he writes all bullshit and bullcraps like accounts, notes and company contacts and continues to scribble in it. WTF? naive but cute. lol.

anyway, he went away during his prime years which is sad because he never got to experience life like he wanted to, like i would have wanted him to.

when he was sick he told me his only regret was not seeing any one of us grad. he said he wanted to see at least one of us grad before leaving. i prayed that night like i have never prayed before. i sincerely begged god, whoever he is and wherever he is. i begged HIM to give my dad a few more years, at least until my brother graduates. i knew there could be pain later on but i wanted him to hold on. i was selfish. even a second knowing that he was still breathing made me happy. it doesn't matter how much suffering he has to endure as long as he is with us. that was how selfish i was. people say when you love someone you let them go.


i guess i must've hated my dad tremendously.....

well, back to the topic. my dad was supposed to be there in that picture. he was supposed to be beside bro. he was supposed to be smiling, he was supposed to be happy.

maybe he is.

at the time of the convocation, we went inside, me and my mom. since they permit only two person per entry my sister was left home alone. she had school anyway. the hall was packed and full of people. parents were squirming. but there, beside my mom was an empty space. it wasn't until my mom whispered, this place's for dad....... i knew then that he was there with us, smiling, congratulating and finally fulfilling his wish.

this post is no longer a dedication to hospice, bloggersaremorons or blogathon, it is not a dedication to the victims of katrina, it is not a dedication to the orphans or homeless.

it is a dedication to dad. my dad.

p/s: congrats to my bro who finally after long last extension shit.... he fucking graduated!

Technorati.tag : dad , papa , ang ah ba , jee mee , jimmy
September 9, 2005
5

Comments

James said…
hahahaha u look so damn funny there man.
Jimmy Ang said…
chee bye, laugh lar, laugh lar!

shouldn't have posted this up. mahai, now kena shoot ady!
Wingz said…
eh lengjai mah ... but why this time no eat hotdog one geh ? lol :P
bUttsH4k3r said…
you look a lot like your brother.

if you call that a smile, you both smile alike :D
Jimmy Ang said…
wingz : no hotdog mar no eat hotdog lar! everytime also wan me to eat hotdog u got hotdog fetish ar?

butty : smile? i call that a retarded crooked puny attempt to widen my lips.

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